From now on I will be blogging at


http://hintoftruth.blogspot.com/

I blog about life, death, religion, philosophy, beliefs, science, dreams, and everything thats interesting.

Check it out, and drop a comment!


Take care //


Mikael.

Gosh... so long since.
I guess its time.
So much has happened since my last post. I've moved to a new town closer to home, I'm at university, studying litterature, I'm in an english congregation, which I totally love. And I'm happy and feeling fine.
all is good.
maybe I'll start blogging here again. would be fun, I guess.

found this clip on youtube of my old band, the sonora turnbacks.

check it out.
its pretty cool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6hk4yxdWhw&feature=related

Been playing a lot of banjo lately, just found out about this new picking-style that I'm trying, Clawhammer... and it feels a lot better for me than the ordinary bluegrass picking... I like that too, but clawhammer is something else, its just you and the banjo... I know it sounds weird but its true, youre a lot closer to the instrument and the music, and also, you're able to produce melodies in a whole other way.
So, that leaves me writing my own little melodies, which i've never done in this way before. It sounds very folk/oldtime, and thats exactly what I like.

I hope me and Sanna will get together soon to play, but she never has time, haha.
And I almost always have time.
Tomorrow I'm bringing home a new cat... His name is gonna be Sméagol.
Mostly because Hille (my other cat) needs a friend, and also because kittens are cute, and I want another.

Been thinking a lot lately, about what I want to do with my life.
Been doing some research and have finally found what I need to do.
First of all: I have a constant longing and thirst for knowledge.
I need knowledge... And right now, science, astro physics or non linear systems seem totally fascinating, so thats what I'm aiming for.
But to get there I need a basic technical year at Chalmers in Gothenburg. So that is what's happening next year.
It's gonna be interesting. After that I will know what I need to know to advance and decide which way I want to go... and what area I choose to make my expertise.

That's it, so next year, Mika is going back to school.
And I'm seriously looking forward to it.

Today was like nothing, just something that passed me by.
It feels for me like time is just something totally irrelevant, and non-meaningful nowadays.
Why is that? Is it because I sleep a lot?
I don't know.
Often I just feel want the day to end, for something new to come and strike me hard, make me actually achieve something, something other than just the poor life im living.
And all this crap with money... I do hate money, more than I love it.
Because money is always such a problem.
One can't even get a good job, you're stuck with sh*t, and that sucks.

I really want to transform in some ways, start out fresh,  and maybe let go of a lot, but I really dont know how to do that, its just that.
I really dont know how I could get such a big thing done, and actually succeed in doing it to.
I'm too much for failing.

But hell, I'm not gonna sit here and feel bad for myself. I have the same opportunities as anyone else.
So, Mick, get a hold of yourself, find a  proper job, and learn to live.

"we're going to win, put your troubles behind you and go on to bed"

One thing thats pretty funny is that a lot of my friends are married, especially here... Angie and Fritte, Paul and Sofia, Soon alex and annie and, well, everyone, it feels like.
but on the other hand, I'm not, Sanna is not, Simeon is not, Magnus is not... and, well, Morgan has been but not anymore.
Hail the non-married, and congrats to the married bastards. Awrrr!

Will I ever get married?
I can't tell for sure, of course, but I hope so... I'm not made for living alone and not sharing my life.
I want to share my life... I don't know when, maybe tomorrow or maybe in half a year, or maybe a year, or TEN years from now (gaah, I hope not).
People always talk about "finding yourself".
I don't know if that is possible, ever. So im just not focusing on that... right now I just try to go with the flow, and see what God has in mind for me, even though I know my life is not predestined.
I'm just me, I'm just Michael, or Mika, or Mitch (as my friends here call me, haha. They usually add a "bitch" after that too, the sons of whatever!)

Last night we were at Max and had som junk food, cause they have really tasty cheap burgers sometimes. Almost all of my posse was there. Seriously, I love them. Theyre wonderful people, and I'm so glad I've met them and gotten to know them.
Theyre a blessing, just like everything else I cherish and get to have.


Ending tonight with something I wrote:

If you can will you show me how it is to be alive

Maybe how it is to die, and to be loved

If you want I can show you how to write from your heart

How to let out all your pain, and how to cope

I
---~---

I picked up my black guitar and gave you seven brand new scars.

Over and out
Mika.

Mika really tired today.
Let me tell you about my day real quick...
Had a job today, a family that ordered window cleaning for their big house, because they're gonna be moving out soon.
I'd estimated that it would take max 4 hours... based on the number of windows, the shape, and their condition.
But hell, they were faar worse than I thought, and far worse than they described them.

So, I spent 8 hours ripping off tape and scraping off paint from the small windows, still not getting them perfectly clean.
So it wasn't a very satisfying day...
but you know one thing that was, just the fact that I was working for me, and only me.
I am my own employer now... and suddenly work is ok, because you don't have any pressure, except your personal goals and the fact that the result is gonna be close to perfect.
I hope to be able to make a living out of this soon, window cleaning and cleaning in general.
I've got several customers already, and more are gonna come, I'm sure of that. Why am I sure of that?
Because I have to believe that this business is blessed. I'm doing it for the right purpose.
I hope God approves and let's it work out as good as possible.

Night everyone, and nighty night my rose.


This is a song I wrote about a year ago. And I like it :-)

I found my way back home on a pair of western wheels

I had set aside my life and put on my dancin’ heels

I went as far as I could with the cold and the wood and the stone

Ended up with an old guitar and a love strapped to my bone

 

~

Rosie, the beauty of my day

Our life’s a wager, love, come what may

Rosie, bring your sorrow ‘cross the vast

Oh, I wish the autumn would last

 

Built myself a house ‘neath the ridge where the pine trees grow

Time is taking casualties, cause my heart is all that I know

Can’t seem to reach the end of my bitter silver line

So I bow down now and then, and let my hands entwine

 

~

 

Said a prayer for the luck that died, the chance that got away

Godspeed to you my friend, My love and I will stay

Crop’s good in the autumn time, you and I both know

In this ghost town we will end our days and hang our heads down low.

 

~

 

Floorball again tonight... didn't go as well as last week though, didn't score as many as I did then.
My team didn't really get it together the last match either, which we lost. Well, everyone was really tired, so it's not that surprising I guess.

I hate loosing.
Rosie, when you come here, you have to play too!
I'll supply you with a really good floorball stick too... no junk, no no no.
the best for the best ;-)

night.

Yea, that's about it, you see all these twisted thoughts and evil minds everywhere. And there, somewhere in all the darkness there is the light of Jesus and Jehovah... and it shines through so bright that you just cant avoid looking at it, and following it, because they clear a path, a way out, and it is so beautiful that it don't matter if you live or die. Anyway he will always remember, you are always safe in His arms. Never can anything or anyone touch or destroy the core of you, the heart, except you, If you don't choose the Lord before the world. (Proverbs 4:23)

There is no other way than the Lord's way. and right now, following the footsteps of Jesus is what matters, and purity in Jehovahs eyes.
Why follow Jesus?
Because he is the good sheperd, and no one can ever give you a safer path in this cold world than He can.
He is the light that Jehovah has given us, he is the commander of angels, which he can send to aid us in any hour of need, he is the one and only path to Jehovah, and no prayers can get through to Him without his name spoken.
And in this late hour I feel the need of God and the Lord Jesus... I am not alone, and I never will be.

But I get so angry with myself.
Because I have a dark mind sometimes. I think we all do, sometimes, when the world creeps in, and the Evil himself tries to reel us in.
And let me tell you a truth about him, the one who makes all evil come to life, The Enemy, yes, that's Satan I'm talking about.
He never stops, no, never ever does he stop trying to poison our minds and make us give in to sin.
He tries, and often does he fail... but does it end there? Does he think something like this: "Oh well, he passed the test, that doesn't seem to work on him, I'll just have to make life a bitch for someone else then."
-No, he doesn't. He never stops.
When one tactic, one method doesn't work, he tries another one, and if that doesnt work, another one.
He never stops!
Until you fall, and fall you will, somewhere along the road. we all do. Because we are marked with sin, and that keeps us from perfecting our worship and our life. It never will be snow white, it will always be gray, until sin is removed. But it's not just about that, its about your mind, your conscience, and what you will make of it.
Will you have your mind focused on God? and doing His will?
If one does, his path is sure to be successful.
That can be your path.

I can't sleep right now, even though its late, I cant make myself go to sleep.
So, this was something I had to say.

Louise is so beautiful.
She pretty much sums it all up.
Gotta love Louise.

haha.

Besides that I'm heading off to work again in a few hours for the night shift.
Palla, jag orkar inte mer, jag hatar mitt jobb. Det är som en ilning i mitt stackars kött, varenda gång jag måste sätta min fot på det där infesterade hålet där ignorans och total avsaknad av seriositet slingrar sig tillsammans.
No can do any longer, Michael.

hello whoever is reading.
The day is at end, and its been a long one, full of what not. 
I'm really bored, and anxious about my new business that i'm starting next week.
I'm starting a window cleaning company here in S-town, which will hopefully work out, and I'll be able to make a living off it.
Working at McDonalds is killing every inch of me right now, so I really hope and pray that this will work.
Damn if it won't, cause then I'm stuck at square 1 again.

auxiliary pioneering this month again. feels really good!

take care...
and rosie, tomorrow night we have to talk... :-)
I'm on at aproximately six pm your time. maybe you are too.

Just got home from work, after a while at Hälsokraft with Sanna, my dear friend.
Gosh, I really hate my job. Because it makes me dislike people, and I really don't dislike people, I love people, and should love people none the less, but it's so hard to do that now, when I'm a slave under the fiery whip of Ronald McDonald.

But some other things make life work none the less...
I'll list them here, as a reminder for myself and an inspiration for others maybe:

God - He who sees all things is the single most important person in the whole universe and in my life. And without him all would fail.
The service - No other work is more important and strengthening than the Lord's work.
Music- playing, creating, and listening
Love - Giving and recieving
People who you know you can always count on - Real and true friends are hard to find, but when you find them they are like gold and diamonds, pearls and fine wine.
Family - One must never, never forget his one's family

That's it

This is a fantastic day, because its sunday.
Why is it a fantastic day?
because every sunday night me and some friends play floorball.
Floorball is the greatest sport in the universe... And I love it.
Most of you who read this probably havn't heard of floorball, and that is why you should click HERE to find out what it's all about.

After you do... just start playing, get a good stick, and get a team together. It's just the right thing to do.
Floorball is about technique, accuracy, speed, and team work.

It's just truly great.
Tonight has victory in store for me.

Music:
Into the night - The Motorhomes.   Please listen HERE, and tell me what you think.

today is gonna be the changing day of my life.
Or else there is only darkness.
I walk away now.

Ulv Ulv, bit int mig...
vad har jag gjort dig?

As Varg:

Prowler, Prowler, wolf face man
Bad-Eye mother with a womb of grass
Collect bones and build of them a compass
leading to the town of disbelief

The reaping-hook cuts hard
through the wicked and the corn
working men singing:
"Holy! to the Lord"

The Lords way, yea the lords way
I will follow, other words are dead and hollow

-- Night falls hard on darkwood street, hear a holler:
"Lo! Ye heavens and earth, for the Caller!"

Christ the Lord he's risin' today
Sons of men and angels say
Praise.

I was thinking about myself, just practicing some evaluation of my own mind, which I often find extremely complex.
I have a lot of weird interests, but they all come together under one banner: "My absolutely never ending thirst for knowledge".
Today I've been out in service again, the whole day until now. feels good to be under the grace of God, at least thats what I hope.

He always makes things come out right and the way they should.
So yes, I trust Him with everything that I am.

This is a part of a song called Roadtrip which I wrote about a year ago:

Here in an instant, please sit tight

I don’t know If I can go on

Through the winds and the heat of the night

I’ll be here and I’ll be gone

 

   Now we have a destination

   We have our separate ways

   Still we’re in this car together

   And we shine like razorblades

 

 

 

 

 

As Carpathian hand:

In the body of someone

The body of thorns

The woman of dreams

Pregnant with an only child

 

  24 for my sound

  They represent my voice

  Seated somewhere above

  On holy ground

 

4 represent something cruel

Feels like kings and beasts

Oh, the rule is by the 4

They gather for some feast

 

  6 represents the nothing

  Cruel and incomplete

   Parts 3 is higher evil

   It is a waste, I say

 

12 is the complete

parts 3 is beautiful

So white and fully armed

His horse is mine

 

   The blood-scarlet is war

   Riding fast and hard

   With sounds commanded

   It’s a necessity

 

The plan is so simple

Still so complex

Revelation, Oh

For you as well as me